I started thinking a few days ago about when and why I started my blog. I decided to blog as I was preparing for my Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty (UPPP) surgery. I opted for this surgery which I have not so fondly called "rotor-rooting you throat" . I had very severe sleep apnea and as I went through the process of deciding whether to have the surgery I thought a lot about "my voice". My throat was going to be shaved to create a bigger opening, as I type this I wonder how could I have ever said yes, but the other fact was I was going to suffer very severe consequences if I didn't take action, and the other options were just not working. So I started "MaryAlice Musings and More, Blogging for healing, fun and contemplation". Since that time I have made 804 blog posts, and my site has been "clicked on" 137,448 times, amazing!
I am now preparing for another surgery, much less dramatic, and I am hoping much less painful, than my UPPP. I am having my pesky little gull bladder, that is "packed" with gull stones removed in two days. I have been preparing in same and different ways this time. My house is sparkly clean, Dawn came yesterday and did deep cleaning, and I continued to sort, sift and make little altars everywhere. I had little altars everywhere in my house in Northeast Minneapolis and I do remember that I was sitting outside on my patio in the shade as I typed out my first blog. in the late afternoon shade. I am still typing out my blog on an Apple laptop, but this morning it November, it is the November grey and it is mild outside, for those of us who live in the northern climes - reality check it is 41F degrees at 7 a.m. - I'll take it.
I was working back then, and had done all the arranging for some extended time off. My arranging now consists of having my rides to and from the hospital, thank you Bryan and Diana. I also have friends who will be staying with me as I recover. Thank you Diana, Linda and Margaret. I expect to be up and around and taking deep breaths and making sure I continue to move. I am looking forward to some scrabble, movie watching, listening to podcasts, music, playing cards and good healing.
I want to share this first post from August 30th sixteen years ago. Some things have changed, some not so much.
Post from August 30, 2008: Planning for Wellness
So this is day one of my pre-surgery plan. I have read about the Alaskan Wildcard, smiled about the UnConvention Activities and looked at CodePink video getting ready for the RNC. Lolly, Myah and I are going to the Guthrie to see Little House - and I am doing a little farmer's market before. It is a great day - I am trying to remember to breath deeply and visualize my body healing from surgery in the best way possible! I have all of you in my healing circle sending energy, well wishes and much more. Who knows preparing for surgery and starting this blog may unleash all kinds of voices just ready to leap into the world. Thanks for being there with me, MaryAlice
Now for some context, the Alaskan Wildcard was Sarah Palin, the UnConvention Activities were for the Republican convention that was starting on September 1st. Too bad we didn't get that kind of outcome in November of this year as we did in 2008. I worked in St Paul and it was a few days before my surgery that I started the blog so I did go to work and saw first hand the spectacle of that convention. Driving was horrible and the convention outfits were something to behold, if you weren't trying to stop gagging. I am making jokes now, but at the time it felt possible that the republicans could win the election. Little did I know.
So while St. Paul was in the midst of presidential election chaos, I was trying to prepare myself for my surgery. I am doing that today as well. Still remembering to breathe deeply. Still imagining my body happy to not have the burden of a strained and full gull bladder. Visualizing my ribs easily adjusting to the being pushed out by the air needed to slip my gull bladder out through that small little incision.
Rereading my first blog, and hearing that I was going to the Guthrie Theater with Lolly and Myah. I miss going to the theater with my dear friend Lolly, and her guide dog. Myah, who was eight years old then, loved to go with us, probably as much to be able to have a four-legged close by as to see and hear the magic that was on the stage. I am smiling as I think about what would have been at the farmer's market in late August, a majesty of all wonderful vegetables and I might have brought home a bouquet of flowers to adorn one of my little altars. No farmers markets today, but I do have tomato sauce on the stove from frozen plum tomatoes from my CSA - I am going to finish them off today and can them up. Yesterday I made peach ginger jam from frozen peaches that I bought from the Amish store in Smyrna, Pioneer Place (do open up the link for a fun article!). I am in preparation. I am blogging. I do still appreciate this time when I listen for the voices to come.
Yes, there are my voices, they have spoken out and they have also been silent. I have taken long, long pauses and breaks from blogging - as I didn't have much to say or not know a way of sharing or trusting that I could share freely. I still write holding both myself and all who might read this blog on the page. I am still very thankful for anyone who reads the blog. I used to have my blog public, and there were at times lots of readers who I do not know and have no way of knowing how they found my blog. Now, anyone who has the link can read my blog and I don't really understand what is the same and different. Still I am always happy when I feel as if I could tap some words on a page. I am still grateful that others do enjoy reading what I write.
It feels like a good part of my preparation, of my being present, of my healing that I write. As I said the very first blog I wrote, thanks for being there with me.
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Sending positive thoughts from the light within.