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Emerging into Now

It has been over six months since I retired from state service.  It has been three months since I last drove from Minnesota to Maine with the last of my belongings.  I have a Maine drivers license and Maine plates on my car. I just got a land line phone, and I think I remember the number now, but have it in my "contacts" just in case.  There are still a few boxes, mostly books that need attention.  I have been taking boxes down to the new used book store, and wonder why I couldn't let go of them earlier!  There are clothes that I am figuring out what to do with, and again wondering why they didn't go to the second hand store in my Minneapolis neighborhood.  My studio is not set up, but I have started to knit and felt. 

This is a shift.  I am not planning for when I retire, when the house sells, when I move to Maine.  All of that is done.  I am learning my way here and now.  What do I want to do?  Where is my energy today?  What am I feeling? 

The world feels in free fall, and I am each day am sorting out how to be a neighbor, a volunteer, a community member, a friend.  My feelings swing and I am learning how to lean back and experience the ebbs and flow.  I do know that I will find my balance and my feeling of being centered is there and I will notice it soon. 

I started this blog a number of years ago as I was preparing and healing from sleep apnea surgery.  I blogged when I went to Sicily.  I have blogged in fits and starts since then and now am wanting once again to share my words, express my thoughts and be open.

Today is a starting again, pushing through ambivalence and doubts.

So what is now?  Now is needle felting a beret to take down to North Lights Gallery, having beef stew cooking on the stovetop, and getting ready to take the Katahdin  Woods and Water Scenic Byway to get some vegetables from the Gardiner Farm Stand.   Tonight is a community meeting at the library and a program about Iceland.  I am finding my way, sometimes very aware that I am from away.  I am so close to be a full time worker but now I am retired.  I volunteer at the Millinocket Memorial Library and the Katahdin Woods and Water National Monument.  I write letters and send postcards and spend too much time on facebook some days.  And now I blog, once again.  Some things are new and some just get pulled out of the past!


Comments

Linda Lenzke said…
Thank you, MA. I look forward to becoming a regular reader as you continue to be a regular blogger.
Unknown said…
Perhaps it helps to know you have many in your circle who care to hear your deepest thoughts and lightest musings. Write on, MA, as you are moved.
Unknown said…
I love this Mary Alice. We are all from away by the way ,some just don't know it. I have a few friends from here, and their ancestors were here from the beginning. You are as much from here now , as we are . Welcome ! And thank you for your involvement in your community and your National Monument. Volunteering is good for the soul and you are a good soul for doing it!