Tomorrow as the moon is new I enter the year of the 9's. The last year of a decade. Today I am remembering and honoring this past year. This year is and has most definitely been one of my best. In the ways of external stability I have a very good job, once that has mission and focus and meaning to me, and I get ample compensation. My house received some good maintenance this year, and it continues to feel more and more like my home (home ownership has not come easy for me!). Professionally, I am feeling this great balance: excited about learning and clear about my own experience and knowledge. I have been doing my work for a long time know and I feel valued and respected, and am having lots of fun working with new people and particularly new generations of policy planners! My health is great! Praise Be. The decision to have my surgery for sleep apnea was brave and bold and was right for me. No more sleep apnea! The rest of me is so much better and I am 25 lbs thinner - which is a bonus I never even considered. My friendships and my heart are full. The places of pain, regret, thoughtfulness and fear show up and I have found a way to verbalize to share to apologize to work my way through and to make amends with those who what been plowed over by my actions.
This inventory taking has been going on for days, visuals stream through my head, words form on my lips, my heart sends signals through my body and soul. All of this reminding me of how amazing it is when I am able to honor myself, to find that unconditional loving space, that direct hit reminding me of my divine connection and my human responsibilities.
What a gift to breathe deeply into appreciation for one's life. To remember the moments where one has reached out and connected, supported, mentored, guided, listening, be witness to others and to self. I am aware of the darkness in the night sky. I am eager to have a birthday a the time of a new moon, the feeling of emptiness, the end of desire. A begin the process once again of living, breathing, being present for yet another year. Not just any year, but a year of the 9's, the end of one decade and the beginning of another. One breathe one moment at a time.
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