MaryAlice Musings and More

Once again, I moved myself from the house and out into the world today. My family (daughter, son-in-spirit and the grandkids are all leaving for New Zealand and down under on Tuesday afternoon. I had gotten them little journals to take along with them on their trip when I was in DC and wanted to give them their goodies. What started out with Gramma making a trip to their house, changed to a send off lunch at It's Greek to Me (I have posted about IGTM before it is our 26 year family hang out). So the family, best friends, and Gramma-Mom all met for lunch. I stopped at Tuthills (another family institution) where for over 30 years they have been blowing up balloons and making merry! So Birthday Balloons for Luke and Sasha! Bon Voyage for the family! and WooHOO for everyone balloons were put together in a great bouquet. Then I picked up a lovely box of "crackers". We had such a good time. We were all there with our tissue paper crowns (they are in the cracker), and ...

There is snow everywhere, a bright sun, and I have another 101+ fever and wondering when I will ever get better! I am home, not planning to leave for today, drinking fluids, and at least my body is warming up. I am beginning to relate to the saying, "stone cold". So many people I know are sick, yuck. So I am trying to just take care, keep resting, and hope that I will feel the turn. Enough about my sick bugs. There must be something else I could write about at sometime, it's just not today.

My oh my! I have had some bout with the bugs. No flu. Yes to a fever (I never have a fever!), bone cold, coughing, ugh ugh ugh. I believe that I have slept 20+ hrs. a day for the last 4 days, that's a great sleeping record for a gal who USED to have sleep apnea! I am not entirely well yet, but I did go to work for 5 hrs. today. Of course this is the day of a really big snow, so it took me 1 1/2 hrs. to drive home, and here I am safe and sound! I am still sniffling, taking my remedies, coughing (but lots less), and beginning to feel like I am a part of the world and I want to be. Blessed be for that. The snow is amazingly beautiful, I bet out in the country it is amazing. There is a big wind, and I am sorry for those people who cannot be safe at home tonight. I just talked to someone in Montana, they assured me more snow was coming. I have received such loving kindness and support during this being sick time. My Doctor was great, my acupucturist worked really hard, I wa...

Everywhere I have been lately people are sick. I have been taking my airborne, vitamins, resting, and still I am sick. Fever, pain, headache, and swinging from being bone cold, and a deep cough. So I am home, and I am staying at home. No going to work, I slept all day long with the exception of about an hour. Just solid sleep, so I hope that I am going to be well soon. But for right now I am just sick. This too shall pass.

It is cold, the sun is not bright, and I am so glad to be back at home, in Minneapolis. Tonight was a great fundraiser for my friend Kevin Reich. He is running for city council, and I am glad. It was neighbor-to-neighbor dinner for Kevin , and I was so glad to feel connected at this very local political social, cultural level. This is part of what it is the we really need to strive for in our country at this time. I am glad to be home. Staying present. Being in the world, being in my neighborhood.

Tomorrow afternoon I will be done with my last meeting here in D.C. In the morning I am meeting with political appointment folks from the District, looking forward to good discussions, visioning, and some concrete next steps to create necessary change in the delivery of health and long term care support for people with disabilities in DC. Then I am walking to the Mall - and going to the National Gallery of Art to see the 83 photographs in: "Looking In: Robert Frank's "The Americans"." Robert Frank shot images of ordinary people, his pictures revealed images that many believed were anti-American. Frank who is 84, worked with the curators on this exhibit, and he shoot a film discussing how he selected his photos originally when first publishing this work in Paris, France in 1958. This is an America that I saw as a very young girl. I am looking forward to taking it in, and then after spending time at this exhibit, when walking back to my hotel I am going to ...

I have gone from the shores of Lake Michigan on silent retreat to downtown D.C. blocks away from the White House. President Obama is traveling, and I have spent the evening with a dear colleague and friend sorting out how to interact with the Department of Labor and other stake holders to really facilitate change. What a whirlwind of realities, and they are all mine. I was at my work for a little more than 3 hrs. today...and when I got off the plane (less than 2 hrs. from take off to touch down) I had over 40 emails! So here I am in the Capitol and getting ready to rest, and to be ready for tomorrow when good work will happen. It is like spring here in the low 40's, people are still feeling cold here and I went out this evening without gloves, hat, or scarf! It is all in your perspective!

The Heart by MaryAlice 2009 This Valentine Honors Our Hearts It is our Love That Sets Us Free Brings Us Together It is a Gift This Beating of Our Hearts Showing Us the Way To Love and Be Loved Happy Valentines Day - MaryAlice

My two carry-on bags are ready. I am sitting in the early morning dark. There is a red light flashing in the eastern shy low on the horizon. I can't picture what it is, and I know that I have seen it before, but every time it seem like a new discovery. I know it is like a pole, and there are at least two lights at different heights. I won't be out walking to try to locate it, and firmly put it into the landscapes from my house today. So it will on another day likely seem like a new experience once again! I know the mind works like that, and as I leave for my retreat I am aware that one of the questions to sit with is: in what ways can I effect my own thinking, what are my intentions, how do they move me to action, inaction, forgetting, remembering? I am also aware of my heart, it is just beating away, that center place in my body that symbolizes our connection, our receptivity, our capacity to love to be loved. I am going to do a few last minute things around the hous...

Congress Passed Title IX of the Education Amendment in 1972. This legislation seeks to provide equal opportunity for women and girls to participate in sports teams while attending school. In an attempt to assure equality between the sexes, Congress passed this watershed piece of legislation. The major provision of Title IX was that no person would be denied access to participation based on sex in any educational program receiving federal financial assistance. People (men and boosters of men only sports) continue to criticize and attempt to undermine his legislation. In 1978, I worked with a team of women in Wisconsin, developing a curriculum to be used in WI primary and secondary schools that would help to understand and implement a process where equality across sports would become a reality. I interviewed girls and young women athletes. I was never an athlete. I had asthma, and grew up during a time when asthma meant no strenuous activities. There was GAA (Girls Athletic Assoc...

I have for the past decade or so always had a one of more books of poetry by Hafiz close at hand. I love the wildness of the poetry, one of the allures for me of sufism - was ecstasy. Ecstasy, a state of exalted delight, joy, intense emotion of any kind. I had in my life experienced ecstasy (not the trued) the true amazing feelings of joy, the intense feeling of being delighted and read and whole and in the world. The poetry of Hafiz reflects for me ecstasy in almost every poem, every word. Tonight I just opened up "The Gift" Poems by Hafiz The Great Sufi Master, translated by Daniel Ladinsky. I opened to "Let Thought Become Your Beautiful Lover" (pretty funny after my little hissy fit last week of not having the appropriate valentine!)...how could I not share: Let Thought Become Your Beautiful Lover Let thought become the beautiful Woman. Cultivate your mind and heart to that depth That it can give you everything A warm body can. Why just keep making love ...

I know it is a full moon, I can feel the pull, but I can't even see a ring of light there are so many clouds. The good news is it has been above zero, it has been above freezing. The bad news is that there has been icy evenings, but mostly the sun higher in the sky, longer during the day, and hotter in temperature has melted lots if not all the snow. I have a lake when I step off the last steps of my side stairs. There is lots of puddles, lots of patches of frozen grass, and it is gray, it is dirty looking, It is the February thaw and it's not pretty. But here's the good news, I can actually smell and feel that spring will some day come, there will be more snow, there will be cold, and each day brings us closer to the equinox, closer the spring. Welcome to the land of melted snow and frozen tundra. When I stop for a moment, I can hear the rumble as things begin to move deep within the earth, and deep within myself.

Alice Walker turned 65 today. I have known for a long time that Alice Walker represents for me, the wise crone woman. She emulates the love and ferocity of the mother. She reminds us of Mother Earth. I have for months had her book, "We are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For" at my bedside. Some nights I read only a paragraph, or read one sentence over and over. She demands one to participate to become the light in the darkness. Alice Walker says, " we are the ones we have been waiting for, because we live in an age in which we are able to see and understand our own predicament. With so much greater awareness than our ancestors - and with such capacity for insight, knowledge, and empathy - we are uniquely prepared to create positive change within ourselves and our world." This is a voice, a woman who inspires and prods, and shows me a vision where I can participate fully. That my own ability to think and reason and meditate and listen and speak out. When...

I have a complete hissy fit earlier this week. I was losing balance, patience and serenity by the bucketfuls as I heard, saw, felt valentine hell. Where was the romance in my life. I wasn't going to some "special" restaurant for a "special" meal. It didn't matter that I was doing what I absolutely want to do on February 14th - I will be in the middle of a silent retreat. I have no doubt that I will be in an ocean of love, just not the kind that they are advertising on the TV, the radio, the newspapers, magazines! Seemingly everywhere I turned, there was something with someone to do, that wasn't happening for ME. So I pick up the phone and call my best friend. The Philadelphia-Minneapolis connection - it was great. In 15 seconds, I was able to let Lon know how much I was not liking valentines day at that moment. We laughed, deep bellied, full throated laughs with each other, Nothing was happening for a few moments except us being best friends. ...

Today was Gramma and Luke day. We had a plan to go to Prairie Home Companion, but the shows for the entire month are sold out. This did not stop Luke from coming up with another great plan with Gramma. So off we went to bowl this afternoon. We went to a new alley, our favorite is Bryant Lake Bowl, but no lanes available late afternoon, so we went out into the suburbs. We had a blast, this was a new bowling alley, lots of lanes, great colored balls, and families, groups of all ages there...it even had a computer program for keeping score. I miss the little pencils that you use when you keep score for yourself, and it is such a good math exercise. We had nacho's and lemonade and three games of bowling. I myself beat my personal best, I bowled over 150 in one game. Amazing...Luke was quite excited when I got 4 strikes in a row, myself, I was beginning to get woozy with the pressure of not throwing a gutter ball after all that....railings being up probably helped me as muc...

Today is the Urs (date of death) of Hazrat Inyat Khan. He brought sufism to the west. And his grandson is today the Pir of the Sufi Order International, based in New Lebanon, New York, on an old Shaker village. The Urs are a very special time, honoring when a soul passes over. People from around the world are in New Dehli, India at the Dargah where Hazrat Inayat Khan is buried. Singing, remembering, doing zikr. He was an incredible musician, an exquisite soul, and a visionary who reached out in so many ways to provide a path for understanding how all our religious and spiritual beliefs bring us Towards the One. He traveled from India in the early 1900's to the United States, asking no one to change his or her religious beliefs, he transmitted the wisdom of Sufism while pointing out its compatibility with all of the worlds religions. His first book was titled A Sufi Message of Spiritual Liberty, in which he defines Sufism as “a religious philosophy of Love, Harmony, and Bea...

I have been trying to just do the next thing. Notice the moment. Sort out ways to create understanding and provide clarity. Know when to stop pushing or to start. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Taxes done, dishes done, called the Dr.'s office. Scheduled an appointment that I have been delaying for weeks. Just doing the next thing, there is a certain detachment, which is really good for me. And I love the ways in which I am creating, a new poem, a new blog day, a new bowl, all good for my heart and soul. We are still in the midst of winter, it is cold cold again, below zero, cold wind. My skin is dry, my bones get cold, I walk around with 2 or 3 scarves around my neck. I am tired of wearing long underwear. I am so bundled most of the time, that I laugh at my own self. I have become a fargo type character, that's no joke. I am still enjoying the art shanties in my mind the pictures of everyone out on the ice, above freezing, kid like, just having fun. I might ...

I am going on retreat in 10 days.  It is a long weekend silent retreat with one of my most favorite sufi teachers.  People come from all over the midwest to meet on the shores of Lake Superior amid the ice and snow and the fire of our internal hearts burning.  I have been doing this retreat for many years, and it is like putting the most wonderful blanket around me as I ease into a different kind of atmosphere.  How great to be able to take the time and space to just focus on my breath, to practice practicing.  To notice.  To be silent.  To be in a circle of folks on a spiritual path.  I leave my knitting behind.  I do bring some colored pencils and journals and my mala beads.  I bring a few special, precious things for my altar, and I bring many shawls to help keep me warm.   I have noticed that I am starting to be more conscious in my steps, noticing a little more internally, all little steps that lead me to embracing the silence, and waiting for the symphony that will appear. 

I am so glad to be smiling in February.  It was a sunny day and so the ground hog saw his shadow, and I myself would be thrilled if winter was done in six weeks!  Each day each week, the sun is higher, daylight is longer, and the sun and summer will absolutely prevail.  Spring will come, the snow will melt, the trees will bud.  The cycle continues.  I can feel the rewards of having time in the dark, time to go within.  I have loved the time that I have had to knit, to felt, to work on my books, my words.   At work today people were giddy talking about the January thaw we had on Saturday.  Of course we are back in the deep freeze but we all know that will change, we will be in the 3o's and then the 40's.   I had such a good time in the art shanties on the ice, I am still taking it in.  Thought I would show you one of my highlights, helping a new person to be inspired about knitting - it was great fun.  Enjoy this time we have to be inside, to go inside, to become friends with th...