The sky is the most amazing lavender color as I type just after sunset - it is happening way too soon, the sun is no longer just beating on us in the highest parts of the sky, but is dipping lower. It makes for amazing light at this time year, and I am still mourning that summer has past, and looking forward to the warmth that we are supposed to have here in Minneapolis for the rest of the week. Today was better, this morning Katy and Cathy came by for a little while, we checked in about work, and they picked up my latest prescription. I had a good nap, the pain was much less, and Thank You Brian for inspiring me to pick up my needles. I listened to my Spiral healing tape -- helped me to bring myself back to myself --- it is easy to want to shut down, when yourself feels pain and you forget to breathe through your feet and trust that all is well --- and then there is the light. The beautiful clear light of fall and sunshine and less pain. and Curt comes to the house with broccoli and walleye and we eat - even though I eat only a little -- and I mourn that my passion for food has been so compromised by how difficult it is to chew, to swallow, and not really to taste very much. Curt reminded me that tastebuds have to come back too, maybe they will emerge just in time, for that big swallow, the chewing without hesitation, and the joy of such a simple and wonderful thing in life - eating! I read a few Hafiz poems to Curt before he left tonight (The Subject Tonight is Love by Hafiz, versions by Daniel Ladinsky). I want to leave you each with one:
Beautiful Hands
This is the kind of Friend You are -
Without making me realize
My soul's anguished history,
You slip into my house at night,
And while I am sleeping,
You silently carry off
All my suffering and sordid past
In Your beautiful
Hands.
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