Today I woke up to a noise that has been absent for over a year - the cars travelling on 35W going south ---going north, it is constant and in the background, and its absence was deafening after the bridge crashed down last August. I rode on it later in the day when I had to go to an appointment. It seemed appropriate as I am very aware of all the layers of healing that happen when one has surgery, and what this bridge signifies in what it has "cured" and what yet has to heal. Tomorrow is two weeks, and I am glad to be so clear that this surgery is successful and that I was able to say yes to the plan that my Doctors felt would be best for me. I have been in the middle of noticing all that comes up as a result of this surgery and my desire to be more well. And with Elizabeth today I was reminded of a Mary Oliver poem, and I would like to share it with you.
The Journey
One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began,
Thought the voices around you kept shouting
their bad advice----
though the whole house began to tremble
and you felt the old tug at your ankles.
"Mend my life!" each voice cried.
But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible.
It ws already late enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen branches and stones.
But little by little, as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice which you slowly
recognized as your own, that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper into the world,
determined to do the only thing you could do--
determined to save the only life you could save.
New and Selected Poems -Mary Oliver
I am continuing to explore being - and I know that I will be doing soon enough.
Thanks for waving as I continue the journey.
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