MaryAlice Musings and More

I woke up to the radio talking about the superstition stories that are told about the "hauntings" in the capitol. One story has clapping heard in the empty senate chamber. Other's have statues moving, and conversations overheard. This is another day the ties us in such an old way to life and death, people and souls returning for the day. The spirits being unsettled, and what we did to try to appease and honor them. I read that Sweden does not "do" halloween, although they recognize All Saints Day starting on November 1st. I will miss my grandchildren's costumes although I am sure I will hear stories about their loot, and there will be many negotiations to have more than one piece of the candy at a time, and where all the candy will go and to whom! They have so much fun with their friends and the costumes (they are a surprise I don't know what they are, but they will put them on for me tomorrow!)...so we can all imagine our tricks and our treats....

There sure are alot of naysayers out here in D.C. They are feeling as if McCain will pull ahead. They are seeing many horrible attach ads on Barack Obama, I am glad we don't have to see them every 5 minutes of TV air time! My time with folks from around the US has been good, we are working hard to identify policy priorities and innovations. My room is lovely, the night sky is clear and I am off for political buttons tomorrow!

What a night! My very long time best friend Lonnie lives in Philly, and "she who never cared about sports" is a Philly fan, she knows stories about the players and just loves the team - amazing and now they won! One more team breaks the drought. Obama goes right to the people, and we hope the folks who were waiting for the World Series, just took a breath! And I am looking out of my corner hotel room windows on two sides of my room, and just soaking in how much I love our Capitol. It was in in 1987, when I was here for the Gay Lesbian March on Washington that I got this incredible clarity --- this is MY capitol, even if I am queer! This is my capitol, even if I opposed Vietnam, knew my country's leaders lied to me, no matter what this is my country. Whatever innoculation took place then it has never left. I never get tired of coming to Washingon, DC. I had great fun bringing my daughter and her friend to DC, I have smiled and beamed at the stories that my daught...

I am heading off to DC (unfortunately it doesn't seem like it will be much warmer there than here in MN) tomorrow.  I am participating in a round table with selected "thought leaders" discussing future policy direction regarding disability and employment.  I will see some of my professional friends from over the years, and I am sure some new faces.  I want to be passionate, clear in my purpose, creative and fully present for this experience.  I have been envisioning a world where we are all able to be honored and rewarded for contributions and abilities.  I want us to support each other in creating independence and acknowledging our need for interdependence.  I want to be clear who is profiting from what, and who is dependent on who as we identify how our structures help or create barriers for people to get the supports they need to participate fully.  So here's to moving forward and creating some discussion papers that I hope will inform and engage the new administra...

Tonight was the Annual Meeting of my local Food Co-op.  I have a long history with cooperatives.  When Sasha - 2 Year Old Daughter, Peg - Partner, and I moved to Madison, WI in 1976 -- we were about 2 blocks from the co-op.  It was  a one-room downstairs of a converted house, lots of bins, NO processed food, NO SUGAR, member owned and controlled.  A few years later the Co-op moved to a much bigger site, just as close to our home - Sasha and I volunteered on Sunday mornings for a couple of years.  It was something that we did together and she loved to put food on shelf and most especially to use the marking gun that put the price tag on the box/can/etc.  She loved it.  Over the years where ever I have lived, I have joined the Co-op -- I have lost track of how many memberships I have.  Lots... It is a way of life for me, this consciousness about my food, where it comes from, how it is produced, and the notion of being an owner - a part of the business.  Our Co-op is a little over 5 years...

Oh how I love the Bryant Lake Bowl (www.bryantlakebowl.com) - ,  it is a place where I have been over many years, with many different people.  It is the first place that my grandchildren went bowling, they thought all bowling alleys, served organic foods and they could get rice and veggies.  Today my friend Pat and I decided bowling would be a good way to start off the week!  We had both been doing fix up and other tasks around our homes and thought a few games in the late afternoon would be great fun.  Today has been one of those fall days that is a true reminded of what is to come in Minnesota.  The winds were howling early this morning, they woke me up,  there were strong gusts and it was predicted that the wind could be over 50 mph, that is some wind.  Mid-morning the winds were still blowing and it started to snow,  nothing stuck but it was the real thing - snow - October 26th.  It was a good day for staying inside, and I was feeling bad for the door knockers out there doing the ...

For the past week I have felt the closeness of today - the anniversary of the death of Paul Wellstone, his wife Sheila, his daughter Marcia, driver Will and staffers Tom and Mary.  I remember when Paul was first elected to the senate, I knew one of his staffers Bea -- and everytime I would travel to DC for business, I would stop by, sometimes with a purpose to discuss some policy or bill, but mostly what kept me coming was just a moment to say, have some soup in the senate cafeteria with friends, and enjoy the view watching as Paul and other staffers and whoever else would dash in and out of the office, down the hall, the elevator moments....Paul made me so glad to have him as my senator, and when I left MN - I still stopped in and was even more glad to have him be our senator for our country.   I was fortunate to just have a tiny glimpse and encounters with Paul Wellstone  personally, but what I was more fortunate to have, what we were more fortunate to have was him as a teacher, as a...

I got this great email earlier this week --- there are so many people that I know who are feeling stressed, "nuts", addicted to internet news about the ELECTION.  So here is a different kind of way to imagine life after Barack Obama is elected. Imagine it is 2014 and you are watching Obama on TV he is having one of his many press conferences.  H has been in office almost six years.  Things look much better than when he took office in January 2009.  While watching you remember how stressful and worried you were during the election campaign of 2008, and how engaged and energized you feel as you watch your president.   There have been set backs, and  much has been done to address global warming, health care, alternative energy sources have been developed and there is deeper feeling of interconnectedness across the planet.  You feel gratitude.    See it...Feel it...Breathe it....Pass it on. Here's a way to decrease our instincts to fight against McCain-Palin and work FOR Obam...

When we are so close to making a choice in President, in Congress, in our states and our communities - I have found it valuable to look back to clarify and remind us of what is important in going forward. I smiled and laughed when I found this quote: "We need women to be leaders, but we need them to have a vision for something." Charlotte Bunch, Feminist Author of "Passionate Politics Feminist Theory in Action"

The dark is staying longer in the morning, and beginning earlier in the evening.  It is the time where the veil between here and there is so thin.  My time on retreat allowed me time to be more still, to remember, to feel connection within myself and with my memories.  The darkness invites us into ourselves, a doorway within.    It is such a gift to remember that we can step away from all the politics, the negative ads, the stresses of work - and for a moment, a breath, maybe more - be still.  Listen.  

My retreat time was just right -- there were 12 women -- I was the only one who did not know anyone. A challenge for an introvert --- it was more than worth the effort. Wonderful honoring, exploring, opening to many aspects of the feminine in spirituality, earth honoring, matriarchy. The intersection of feminism in spirituality in the political - recognition of archtypes. Fun, stillness, going within, and reaching out. I think that many of us will find ourselves in another circle soon, and I may even have made some new friends that will be in my life in ways I cannot even imagine today. We all said goodbye around 11 a.m. today - and I headed up the road to Madison. Home of my heart. My friend Kathleen made my first feast of the day - a table set with such love and attention. We started off with a wonderful Champagne toast, then potato soup (She is Irish!), equisite cheese, chicken salad, and conversation that was deep, funny, connecting --- threads that get woven over decades of knowin...

I am sitting after a Friday Night Fish Fry - what else do you do when sitting on a lake in Wisconsin?  Well this is one of the things you could do.  This weekend I am on a retreat getaway.  15 women connecting around creativity, spirituality, music, breath....stepping out of our lives and taking a little time to recharge, listen, be.  In a few hours J ennifer Berezan  will be treating us to a really intimate concert.  I had heard of Jennifer years ago, mostly when at Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, and never really followed her music, and then my Spiritual Direction Mentor played me part of her Praises to the World CD...that was all it took.  Check her out, she is an accomplished singer/songwriter and in addition her spirituality is deeply apparent in her work.   So I am packing up my laptop, hopping in the car, driving the 2 miles down the road to another part of the lake, and going to rest up after a long drive across Wisconsin and oh so close to Illinois.   Illinois my home sta...

Maybe it is allergies,  maybe my defenses are down and I caught a cold, maybe I had one too many debates.  Whatever,  here I am with a big feeling head,  a plugged up nose,  itchy eyes, and sneezes.  Yuck.  This was exactly what I did not want to have happen, as I am continuing to heal from surgery.  The third day of cold weather, and my body just whimped out.  Thankfully I am going away tomorrow, for a weekend retreat in Wisconsin.  I am looking forward to seeing the colors as I drive south and east, and there will be lots of space during the weekend to rest and rejuvenate.  Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow I will feel better and not worse.  I am going to be with women I have never met before and would rather not be the walking germ factory!  Yuck.  Here's to snuggling in for a good nights sleep, and to being well.  

I have this favorite site where I can look at the predictions of the electoral college votes, remember George W Bush made it into the office without getting the populist vote, and everyone got a civics and judicial lesson in the process.  I started clicking on the site about three - four weeks ago - it was very close, but I liked looking at the "leaning" states, and was surprised at how the chart began to change.  From the vantage point of Electoral Vote  it is looking good, looks like it can will really happen.  Check out the site, and remember that it is the vote of the people that informs the Electoral College - and after last night debate (thankfully the last!) I not only can imagine Barack Obama as "presidential".  I, in every way possible welcome him as the President of the United States.  So now we each get the opportunity to do what we can, and to get ready, because the next President of the United States is not leaving you behind.  We are included in this p...

Almost two years ago I was on retreat, the focus of the retreat was about manifesting the divine in your daily life - making it real/concrete not just an abstraction or an image that someone else said the divine was. On the second day, Taj the leader of the retreat read to us a number of responses from children answering the question, "What is Love." A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think: "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4 "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still frien...

I want to share this video mosaic -- inspired by Barack Obama.  It left me smiling, wide hearted, crying, and most of all proud and inspired about us the people of America.  What we can do when we are supported inspired, appreciated, included, heard.  I hope you enjoy the video.  Here is the website:  www.dipdive.com/dip-politics/wato Pass it along. Today I started yoga classes again,  I am working with my teacher one-one for a few weeks.  She can help as she watches my habits, my challenges, checking out what takes too much effort.  Remembering to breathe.  Deep breath in,  longer stretched - out exhales.  It felt good.  The yoga a way to continue to honor healing, recuperation, being able to recognize a deeper within place.   So it seems to me, all of this, the dancing around singing Obama Obama, Obama -- stretching, breathing deeply.  All great qualities and skills for hope, for change, for all doing our part.     

Monday went by in a blur ---- and I came home ate supper and read --- I woke up with one end of the book making a dent on my cheek!  Monday was an all day meeting day, some productive, some not.  I am conscious of breathing in and out,  how to pull into my center and listen, curb my tendency to react.  What can I do to respond?   I also remembered by time at the Indian Mounds on Sunday.  It was a great day, the sun burst out fully a short time after our arrival --- and the birds.  Small ones, sprinting across the skies, a group that was flying gliders (one fashioned to look like a bird), and then the eagles.  They soar so effortlessly, there were 1-2-3 passes first one eagle, then two.   So today I am carrying those eagles within me as I do day 2 fulltime back to work.  Graceful, balanced, intentional, soaring......

I wrote this poem four years ago, when traveling to Salt Lake City, we left on the trip the day after Thankgiving.  We skirted ahead of several big storms,  it had been many, many years since I had driven that far west in what was already winter there.  I wanted to stop in Laramie, had thought that I would go to the place where Matthew Shepard died.  I did not go there, but he and his story and mine were intertwined throughout the trip and most especially in Laramie.   Laramie Part 1 Fence posts wind swept snow blue skies and mountain ranges that go  on and on. It is cold  and I wonder, how cold was it on that October night when they put Matthew Shepard  on a fence post? I watch the snow the curves and waves that are molded by the wind kept still in the sun and cold. I can see his face where the tears from his eyes washed away the blood as Matthew was left to cry while dying on a fence post. Part 2 There are fence posts everywhere along Interstate 80. They protect the travelers from th...

I was looking through the drawer in my desk earlier today.  I found two pieces of papers with quotes on them: 1.  "When Facism comes to America it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross".  Sinclair Lewis 2.  "There is not a step you can take that is not on your path".  Kate Behrens A reminder and a reminder! 

Finished the second week where I have arrived at work everyday!  This week was easier than last, and next week I am trying to be more "full time".  Each day lots of meetings, trying to sort out what it is that would really be helpful that I could provide.  Many days it feels like the game Jenga - this is a tower game where rectangle pieces are criss-crossed and you see which ones you can pull out without the tower falling down.  So far this week no towers fell as I tried to sort out ways to keep things moving.   The end of the week bonus was a trip to Stillwater - The Lift Bridge Brewery was holding their annual "Rise of Fall" beer tasting.  Dawn and I went (she is another beer lover) together - had a great time.  The Farm Girl Saison - --- mmmm mmmmm good.  The food was great, and I am waiting to get the call that I won one of the baskets!  The Okto a high test octoberfest was very tasty and pale ale's hopped - great.  I got a fun glass and a shirt and a great ...

I am recovering, the economy is not recovering, a friend is thinking about recovery.  First step, be willing.  Next show up.  Let go.  Be responsible for self.  That means continuing my supplements, rest, stay present, breath deep.  It has been 32 days since my surgery, a good reminder that there's still a lot of healing going on.  I haven't said thanks lately - I know that there are many of you reading this that are sending good energy, healing thoughts, love, and well wishes.  Thank You.  I am still soaking them up.  I am deeply moved by your care and love.  Hugs to you all.

I am sitting in my most favorite place, over a year ago I bought myself a chaise lounge - it is soft, and I love sitting with my legs up, and having snuggly blankets over me, and from my perch I can look out of the sliding doors in the back of the house.  I am looking east, and after a day of rain and gray -- the sun is brilliantly lighting up the wildly yellow gold leaves of trees on the next street over.  The leaves on that tree turned so quickly - and it is so full and yellow - just shimmering, shining, showing off in the most amazing ways and at the end of the day - it gets the last hoorah from the sun.  Isn't it great when we notice, can take a deep breath, and bring that beauty within ourselves.   So I am going to remember that tree when in a couple of hours I will be watching the presidential debate!  One month and we will know who our next President will be - hope it is a good night for Obama!  

Well I never got to knocking on doors yesterday.  I spent two hours napping, actually it was a rock solid sleep - clearly everything is working to make all well after surgery.  I also am experiencing the downside of the natural and artificial steroids leaving my body - they when in excess make you feel like you can leap tall buildings in a single bound.  How it manifested for me, was no wheezing, chest feeling open clear and not tight, and extra energy.  Now I just have to create my own set of chemical balance to garnish my energy and keep on healing!  I did go to see Patti Digh "Life is a Verb" - absolutely inspirational - she read, and told stories, and the whole point of her book, her blog, her life to really embrace our stories.  Write them share them live by them....even listening I was remembering priceless moments in my life - and what the story means, like the weekend at Great Grampa/Gramma Stanford (she was Emma, he was Andrew Jackson Stanford) they came to Illinois ...

I was sure when I was ending my day yesterday, that I had blogged earlier in the day.  What a surprise when I logged in this a.m.  and nothing for 10-4!   While I was not blogging, yesterday was a day for nesting.  I have finally finished my challenge to get the garage painted, it is brite white and looks good.  It is already getting a test of rain, and when I go to the garage later I'll find out if it is dry inside. The wonders of a new roof, little repairs, and sealed with primer and paint.  The good news about being home for a month is that I have had the time to pay attention to home.  As the days get cooler and leaves start to change my house is inviting me to settle in, enjoy the warmth, and honor my heart and soul.   For today I going to snuggle under some of my favorites blankets and enoy good reading and knitting.  I have my Obama Neighbor to Neighbor list and am going to knock on some doors in my neighborhood to talk with them about why I am voting for Barack Obama and as...

I made it through an entire work week, where I engaged in work every day.  That was a lot!  If I ever need surgery again I will take into account the political scene.  Surgery and a Presidential Election, and an economy that is imploding - that is a lot too.   The good news of the day, the "bail out bill" included the Wellstone Mental Health Parity Act.  Paul and Sheila fought for this for so long,  his sons continued for the past five years, and not only is this bill so significant for people who suffer from mental illness and addiction - it is a long overdue tribute to Paul Wellstone.  Oh how we all wish that he was here today.   I want to share a part of a poem that I wrote over four years: ...This is what Sheila believed, In what Paul fought for, What they lived together Wanting for each one of us to have  The time, take the space For dignity, For hope, For pride, A place, Community, Belonging.... This bill helps many of us to live our lives the way Paul so passionately s...

What a week, after two days of going into the office, on Wednesday I needed to just stay home, and really allow myself to rest, to sleep, and allow my body to just focus on healing.  Today I worked about 5 hours, and the good news was I had some energy when I walked to my car.  That was different than Monday and Tuesday where I was completely zapped as I headed to my car.  After work today, I headed out to the Dr. today was my 3 week follow up. I got a great report.  No thrush or fungus (sorry I know the thought is gross)!  Nose is good, deviated septum is not deviated and appears to be staying in its new place.  My throat is open, and the Dr. said that the opening is quite different and the surgery has accomplished what we wanted as on outcome.  There is still some areas of the throat that are still in early stages of healing, and he reminded me that lots of energy is going into my recovery.  The tingling on my throat is normal process of healing, I was told to not worry and stress ab...