Swing Low - Day 19

What a day.  What a day. What a day.  Breathe In ------- Breathe Out.   Breathe In.......Breathe Out.   

I have just stepped out of the shower, where I basked myself in the clean warm water.  Water washing away,  water enveloping me in a prayer,  water cleansing away my worries and fears.   I put on my earrings, a beautiful scarf,  my fun colorful flip flops, and a favorite shirt.  

As I sat down to write today's blog,  I noticed that I had a comment from yesterday's post,  it was a hug meditation.  That hug, that love,  that connection could not have been better timed.  I just held myself in that hug.  I will do another big hug when I am through writing today's blog I am going to hold myself once again - a long long deeply felt hug.   We need our hugs right now.  I am sending out a full body open armed belly touching hug to us all.  

That hug, that intention shifted what has been a tumble down kind of day for me.  I have been feeling so very flexible and able to support people near and far.  I have followed my grand daughters travels as she packed and left Granada Spain,  bused to Madrid, got on a flight to NYC, made it through security and customs,  got on a plane to MN, got off the plane in NYC, got on another plane to MN and finally home.  I have made it from Patten to Bangor in car,  Bangor to Boston on a bus,  Boston to Chicago on the train, and Chicago to Winslow, AZ on a train.  I had two beautiful evenings at LaPosada Hotel with my dear friend Cindy.  We drove to Phoenix,  I stayed a few days at the Desert Oasis with Karen and Jen,  and I have since Saturday been hunkered down with Cindy.   

You are most likely exhausted just reading all of that, and today it all just caught up with me.  As more people around me understand the seriousness of what is occurring there is also concern about when and how I will get home.  There are concerns that there will be a lock down and I will be here in AZ and not able to get home.  My email account through the mail on my mac is not working and the computer does not seem to recognize the account.  Of course this technology glitch just made me feel more vulnerable.  I can access my mail, just not that way so not tragic, but felt too big to handle today.   

I wanted to be home,  I was worried about going home.  The sprouts pick up and delivery app was not working right because of overload.   Zoom accounts are starting to be compromised because they are signing up so many new accounts.  I did to my qigong,  I did breathe,  the groceries did get put in the car.  I met with our Katahdin Collaborative Steering Committee over zoom, (it worked fine).  We made plans for next week, that feels like next year, and that may have to be changed....all this needs a flexible  stance,  some resilience. Opening up to noticing when something brings out a smile,  what has heartened me, what has heartened you.  

We are in the middle of very big change, turmoil and more.  I know that I have decisions to make.  My window of going home may close soon.  I am have been weighing what works for me.  For today Cindy and I are happy to be supporting each other, and know that this may be months not weeks.  I am not making a decision today.  I am going to try to sleep well tonight.  Tomorrow will be another day.  

I am singing in my head right now:

Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry he home x 2

I looked over Jordan and what did I see
Coming for to carry he home
A band of angels coming after me
Coming for to carry me home

Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home

If you get there before I do
Coming for to carry me home
Tell all my friends I'm coming too
Coming for to carry me home

Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home

Sing along and while you are singing I am sending big big hugs.  Hug Meditation Time for us all.